
Cellphones are Corny.
Almost totally lacking of all the things that made you enjoy it in the first place?I doubt there is a such thing as a mid-twenties crisis,but I will be 24 on January 3rd.A week after that day I will be one week closer to 25.Still doing the same things I've been doing for countless years to keep a smile on my face.Just lately everything has felt stale and more or less like each waking hour is a broken record.Especially here at work.Surrounded by digital clocks,black and white tv monitors.Days blend and blur their way into weeks.Fuck me i wouldn't know what day it was if i didn't go on this site.I was told yesterday that certain people think that I'm losing my mind,let me assure you this is not the case,and certain facts and time frames are incorrect.The reality of it is,and not looking for any pity,advice,or anything.Im just disgusted with what i've become since my last bad concussion.My drug/alcohol use doesn't really help me find a solution to dig myself out of this self made cave of solitude and depression.This isn't a cry for help,just a warning that one day you feel like you have the world and your future by the balls.And the next your alone at the bottom of the food chain bottle in hand trying to dig yourself out of your self made home of self loathing and hatred.Sorry this is blog material just I dunno something hasn't felt right with me for a long time now.I just want to put my finger on it without blaming how fucking empty and isolated I feel from the majority of my friends and family.Let alone the beyond epic failures of my current dating career.I guess just do what you want to do,and have more fun.Try and block out the black and white and aim for some color into your dying ambitions.Sorry for the long post.I just needed to talk to myself,gain some new company..honesty towards me as a part of the human race.
Been listening to a ton of Joy Divison as of late.

I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand,
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?
These sensations barely interest me for another day,
I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away.
It's getting faster, moving faster now, it's getting out of hand,
On the tenth floor, down the back stairs, it's a no man's land,
Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now,
I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow.
What means to you, what means to me, and we will meet again,
I'm watching you, I'm watching her, I'll take no pity from your friends,
Who is right, who can tell, and who gives a damn right now,
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know,
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know,
Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know,
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling,
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling.
Feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling.